today made me realised alot of things, and if only i could notice them earlier, i won't have to suffer now.

during recess, maria and i saw him from afar, so we kept looking at him. and oh my, i just realised he looks short, very short. i always thought he was tall. but i guess i was wrong because he looked really short, and i swear.

i don't know why, but he suddenly look really ugly to me. he's not that guy that i dreamt of anymore. he isn't that handsome as he used to be. but like what maria said, i guess all this doesn't make any difference to me, because i can only look at him from afar, forever. i know i'm dumb and what am i to say all these? i'm an ugly fuck face. oh whatever, i don't even give a damn anymore. i'm doomed.

okay, that was a bad start that left me crying like shit now, whatever.

school was okay, had camp briefing in the morning, and those who were not going had to go out, super paiseh. D: told the teacher i had skin problem, then he looked at me like i don't have, so i told him, "my back." then he asked, "what does it have to do with your back?" wahlau, fine, so i said, "i have enzyme at my back." -.-, i'm a piece of shit. besides, my dad don't allow me to go. (: okay lah, actually they let me go, but i don't want, so he wrote letter for me. i have wonderful parents. :D. maybe can be photographer for the camp, (:

walked super slow back to class with maria. (: went in class and they sabo me to on the fan, that's what juoyan said. kao, the weather so hot still off the fan. D: english sucks, so boring. showed maria his class on the way to chinese and she was like, "what the hell," i think. saw dorky stand up, stupid dorky. chinese was boring like crazy. D: after chinese, maria didn't come pick me. and he actually came. like oh my god, so i quickly turned around to find ryan who was so behind. so i turned back and banged into him or his friend, didn't really see properly. URGH, why? why must we be so fated when I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SEE HIM. suck cock.

maria bought food for recess, she say share, so shared. ate quite little, because i have no appetite. my cramp is damn pain like crazy, cannot tahan lah. jianhao also have three moles, (: yes, you all know that but no, we don't bluetooth each other. went around and drank sips of water from them. see, must follow us, save money. (: went to sit outside. saw him. like i mentioned earlier, he's short. but he's so ever cool. oh, why should i care. nevermind.

e maths was okay. i'm sitting with koh lean now. and after knowing him for 1 year +, i just realised that his laughter can be so loud. wahlau, then he complain my perfume smell very strong, and asked me not to spray anymore next time. -.-. i can only smell my BO leh. social studies was boring. (: art was fun, but my art turned out bad, as always. had to present and talk about it to everyone. lucky the group is small. i know my art sucks. i don't want to take art, but everytime i say that, kristin, agnes and grace will say, "there's still something else other than painting and drawing." (: yes, i'm going to do photography for my coursework.

went to meet maria at her class after school. both of us have fever, but i was more warm. shitz, fever again. D: walked to the mrt with her. like oh my god, i feel so dizzy. and this time, i confirm i'm sick. DDDD: quickly rushed home and i almost fell. -.-.

mum baked chocolate cake again. went to bathe and napped. always when i sleep, i feel much better. but this time, it wasn't the case. shitz, i want to go to school, cannot miss class. and i can't take medicine. great, running nose + fever. and my red flag is waving. this sucks.